Awesome.

This totally turns me on.

I Type Fast

103 words

Speed test

Go and take the test, I guarantee you're not faster than me.

Taxes

Only six days left until taxes are due. There's a lot of grumbling heard around this time of the year. People don't like to pay taxes, but I think it's important to remember that without our tax dollars, our political leaders wouldn't be able to afford upscale hookers.

Getting Dumped

There are only 15 more days left until new episodes of The Office start airing. It's an exciting time. Sort of.

I find that this show is somewhat tainted now. Sure, there was a strike. Sure, the writer's probably deserved some more money, but what about me? I'm the one who paid $1.99 to download every episode of seasons 1, 2, and 3 from iTunes. I even switched over to Amazon.com's crappy Unbox when NBC had a fallout with iTunes. I own The Office on DVD. I have the deleted scenes memorized, and how am I rewarded? With months of reruns and crappy reality TV.

I once dated a girl. We got along pretty well. I think we enjoyed each other's company (I know I enjoyed her's). It was a mutually beneficial relationship. Then, seemingly out of the blue, she dumped me. She may have dumped me for valid reasons, and there were no hard feelings involved, but still, I had been dumped. She wanted to stay friends, which was okay. A few weeks later though, she decided she wanted to get back together. We started dating again, but it was different this time. I had been dumped, and those feelings of rejection stuck around. You could say some part of me resented her for tossing around my fragile ego like it was nothing. We quickly broke up again (this time it was my choice), that time for good.

Do you see the parallel? I was good to The Office. I was a dedicated fan. And seemingly out of the blue, it left me. Now it wants to jump back into my life with the promise of 6 new episodes!? Everythings just going to be the same, right Office?! Wrong sucker, too little too late. I may watch the new episodes. I might laugh and find myself hoping Dwight and Angela get together again, but it will never, I repeat, never, be the same.

I hope your strike was worth throwing away the last three and a half years, Office.

I get all my news from The Onion

Sex Offender at Large

As on most Sundays, I rolled out of bed around 2pm, and went to work at 4. Work is a relative term. What I do isn't really work. Although I get paid, and there are certain things I need to do, my job isn't hard at all. Most days, I play guitar hero, xbox 360 or watch movies (all on a big ass, 56 inch TV) for the length of my shift.

What I do, if you don't know, is 'supervise' three mentally handicapped men in their home. They live together in a duplex and buy lots of really nice stuff with their Social Security money (hence the TV and all the other bitchin' stuff I monopolize while I'm there). These mentally handicapped men will be referred to as 'guys, or 'my guys' from now on to avoid directing unnecessary attention to mental health, or the lack thereof.

The guys' ages range from 21 to 45. Gretchen (names have been changed) is the oldest of the bunch at 45. He is the most recent addition to the house that I work at. He moved in about a year ago. I believe he is the only registered sex offender of the three and served some time for his crimes.

All the guys at the house smoke. They each have different rules for being outside alone. Gretchen can't be left outside alone for any period of time. While seemingly unfounded, this rule proved to be an important one in the last month as Mike has ran away several times. It started when one of the staff broke his leg. Mike took advantage of this weakness and would leave knowing this cripple couldn't follow him.

Mike has never run away under my supervision. Until tonight.

I'm not sure how it happened. But here are the facts.

Around 8:15pm, Gretchen asked for his medication, said he was going to bed and went upstairs. Around 11pm, a Provo police officer knocks on the door with Mike in tow. The cop told me he had been found wandering around a condo complex in South Provo. Gretchen told the officer that his girlfriend told him through E.S.P. that he should meet her at this complex immediately. Gretchen has told me on multiple occasions that this girl (with whom he hasn't actually spoken in 30 years) frequently speaks to him through this method.

Because he has an alarm that goes off each time he opens his bedroom door, it's easy to be aware of his location in the house. I'm not sure how he managed to leave without me knowing. I know he left while I was watching '2 Fast 2 Furious' with the other guys, so I couldn't have been too involved with that...

Anyway, now I have a meeting with my boss's boss tomorrow to discuss this. Awesome.

The Academy is Confused

I was really confused by the Academy choices last night. Could I have been more off on my choices?

Anyway, here's a review of 'The Lives of Others.'

The Lives of Others presents its audience with a compelling story that is far more relevant to our times than we’d like to admit. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck has struck artistic gold with his Oscar contending, directorial and screenwriting debut. The skill of this filmmaking is terrifying in its own way as it forces us to think, to put ourselves in morally ambiguous situations and compels us to see the both the humanity and the inhumanity in each of us.

Donnersmarck has proven himself as a master story teller as he delves into the dark world of Socialism, East Berlin, and espionage. The story follows Stasi (German Secret Police) Captain Weisler (Ulrich Muhe) as he tries to determine the loyalties of playwright Georg Dreyman (Sebastian Koch) who has drawn attention to himself by being the only non-subversive playwright in Eastern Germany. Dreyman is involved with stage actress Christa-Maria Seiland (played sensually by Martina Gedeck) who, unbeknownst to Dreyman, is involved with culture minister Hempf. In his own plot line, Hempf is attempting to have Dreyman removed from the picture so that Seiland will become his own.

Donnersmarck uses this main storyline to weave a complex tale that certainly isn’t lacking in moral dilemmas. Donnersmarck poses some very interesting questions that can’t be answered simply. What is art really worth and what are we willing to sacrifice for its existence? Where exactly does government overstep its bounds in the name of protection of its citizen and in the name of the state? But most importantly, we see Donnersmarck’s belief that over great odds, humanity can triumph over even the evils of Socialism.

Despite these ever present, important themes, Lives doesn’t fail to deliver the goods on screen. Donnersmarck shows his skill at building palpable tension in one particular scene at Stasi headquarters. In an attempt to bring the equality Socialism to all levels of life, Weisler and another officer sit next to low level Stasi office workers. Without noticing the commanding officers, one of these young men starts to tell a joke about the then GDR leader, Erich Honecker. Upon realizing the step out of bounds, the young man backtracks quickly as the officers confirm this was a career ending move for him. The intensity at this moment could be cut with a knife. In other, lesser films, scenes like this can seem campy, overdramatic and unbelievable. Donnersmarck uses these chilling moments to shine as the audience is sucked into the overwhelming terror of such a dictatorship.

The true brilliance of the film comes in watching the complexity of the characters and the changes they go through. The no-frills screenplay allows us to see true human drama in a way that’s obviously not contrived. On top of these accomplishments, Donnersmarck manages this without drawn out action scenes, without gratuitous violence or sex. Don’t get me wrong, the gritty love story between Dreyman and Seiland is one of the main, and most compelling story lines that keeps the audience interested.

As we follow this masterpiece, the viewer becomes a part of both the Stasi and a part of the underground resistance. We understand the decisions made by both parties and this is what makes The Lives of Others so compelling. Watch this movie. Don’t be afraid of the subtitles, and you’ll be vastly rewarded.

Top Oscar Picks

This is last second, but I thought I'd post my picks for tonight's Oscar ceremony before I went off to the Oscar party. So, here they are:

Best Picture: No Country For Old Men

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood)

Best Actress: Julie Christie (Away From Her)

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bordem (No Country For Old Men)

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett (I'm Not There)

Best Original Screenplay: Diablo Cody (Juno)

Best Adapted Screenplay: Joel and Ethan Coen (No Country For Old Men)

Best Directing: Paul Thomas Anderson (There Will Be Blood)

I certainly don't agree with some of these, but Academy politics dictate that these will be the winners.

Here, in my opinion are the should-be winners:

Best Picture: There Will Be Blood

Best Actor: Daniel Day-Lewis (There Will Be Blood)

Best Actress: Laura Linney (The Savages)

Best Supporting Actor: Javier Bordem (No Country For Old Men)

Best Supporting Actress: Cate Blanchett (I'm Not There)

Best Original Screenplay: Tamara Jenkins (The Savages)

Best Adapted Screenplay: Christopher Hampton (Atonement)

Best Directing: I honestly don't know who was a better director this year, Joe Wright, who wasn't even nominated for Atonement, or Paul Thomas Anderson with There Will Be Blood.

Oh my

If you choose to watch the video below, just be warned, it's sad.

Parts of me like to think that this is part of a movie because this couldn't really exist right?

Other parts of me think, this isn't really what I watch at 5 in the morning for entertainment, right?

Long Live Radiohead

Enjoy this tidbit from Radiohead's latest webcast.