Thursday, August 7, 2008

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor

This movie blows. I'm embarassed I paid $8.25 to see it. I'm embarassed I invited a good friend, and my brother-in-law. Admittedly, we went for the sole purpose of poking fun, but nevertheless... I'm embarassed for Brendan Fraiser and Jet Li's CGI-ed face that morphs into a three headed dragon, and even more embarassed for the yetis representing Jesus taking mortally wounded Fraiser to a pool of magical water where a bath (or baptism-you say tomato, I say toe-mah-toe) saves his life.

The most entertaining part of this movie is that people actually don't understand why Rachel Weisz didn't reprise her role for this third installment. Hahahhahahahahahah.

Don't go see this movie. Go see Mamma Mia, or that movie about girls that share pants.

Rottentomatoes: 9% - Cream of the Crop: 10%


Cindroid said...

hhahahahahaha. This made me laugh the entire time!!! (your blog AND the movie).

The Yeti's were fantastic.

But my favorite line might be "the movie about those girls who share pants".


Jen said...

This review is hilarious and just what I needed today. Did you see Mamma Mia? I really want to see that one.

I also stopped by to let you know that you are my featured commenter for the next couple of days. It is on my sidebar. Your beverage comment cracked me up!

Magicman said...

Brenden? What happened bro? You had such a promising career with Mummy one and Bedazzled. I really thought you would leave the ranks of C list actors and join the B- list. You know, really make something of yourself.

blakecgriffin said...

I agree, Brenden has made some bad bad film choices, but you mustn't forget his involvement with 2004's Oscar choice for best film of the year 'Crash.' Or the brilliant (if still slowly paced) 'The Quiet American' (2002). Or his important stint on 'Scrubs.'

Kate said...

I could have given this review without ever having seen the preview or the movie itself. I WARNED YOU!!! I am embarrassed for you that you saw it, but I understand that sometimes forces against your control cause you to make weird choices. BELOW 10% on Rotten Tomatoes... that is a sad, sad thing.