Damn the Man

I'm not even really sure I have a subject for a blog here. I was hoping to bitch about school, but it just sounds so whiny and self-indulgent. I am however facing a peculiar problem in my film class. I chose the class because it's title, 'Writing About Film and Theater.' Film is something I'm definitely interested in. Obsessed really. So much so, I find the lines blur sometimes between real life and reality. Is this healthy? Probably not.

I also enjoy writing about films. I don't know why. It doesn't matter. Either way this class made perfect sense. I knew it would be intensive, being an honors 300 level course, but I'm up to it, I review at least a movie a week on my own volition, so why not get a grade for it?

Here lies the problematic situation though. I've never wanted to be so involved in the learning process before. I actually want to be an over-achiever. Going to class is/was exciting. However, despite my best efforts made in class and out, I'm thwarted time and time again by my professor.

After a month of not writing anything, not watching any movies, or patronizing the theater, I finally submitted to my professor some reviews I did on my own. I asked not that they be graded, just that she make some comments on my voice, style and reviewing capabilities. She never responded to this e-mail. After trying to discuss it with her in class, I received some sort of non-committal brush off and still, there's no response.

I had a question about some of our assignments, how I could do them, what ways would be best, she never responded to my e-mail or voicemail.

What am I supposed to do about this? I actually want to acquire knowledge and I'm getting shut down. I've finally decided to stop asking questions, stop trying to be an active participant and do whatever is asked of me through the syllabus. This actually is kind of a buzz kill, making this class feel like some sort of general ed like physical science. And who's fault is it? I honestly don't know. Maybe it's me, maybe I'm going about things wrong. Maybe the professor just has trouble communicating with me, maybe I'm just meant to stop bitching about it.

We finally had our first assignment over the weekend. We were to attend BYU's latest production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, and write a two to three page review of the performance. The play was ridiculous. I had to sit through three hours of slap-stick physical comedy that even John Heder would be ashamed off, not to mention break-dancing fairies, more than obvious racist tones of the play, and actors that turned Shakespeare's iambic pentamenter into this sing song-y children's nursery rhyme recitation. Even though I know my professor thought 'it worked in a lot of ways,' I made my opinions known in my review. It will be interesting to see if I'm graded on my ability to write, or on my abilities to agree with the professor.