I don't agree.

Survey says:

You're The Catcher in the Rye!

by J.D. Salinger

You are surrounded by phonies, and boy are you sick of them! In an
ongoing struggle to search for a land without phonies, you end up running away from
everything, from school to consequences. In this process, you reveal that many people
in your life have suffered torments and all you really want to do is catch them as
they fall. Perhaps using a baseball mitt. Your biggest fans are infamous
psychotics.


Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

That's bull.

Dane Cook is a Silly Son of a Bitch

My buddy Ben and I took a little trip down to Vegas Memorial Day weekend. It was rad.

We sang karaoke, rode the rides on top of the Stratosphere, played roulette (not to mention I won), and saw Dane Cook perform at the Collesium at Caesar's Palace.

The performance was hilarious. Before the show, Ben heard a rumor that Dane's manager was handing out passes to a VIP after party. So he hunted the manager down, his name was Barry, and snagged us two tickets to the party.



So after the show, we went to a private room and hung out with the 3 comedians that performed and about 30 of the hottest girls I've ever seen in real life (watching The Hills doesn't count as seeing a hot chick I guess).

It feels so good.

One of the many joys of going to my Mom's place in Idaho (and there are many) is taking a shower where the shower head is high enough that the water hits my head.

I understand that student apartments are run by monopolizing companies in Provo that know they don't have to compete with quality because 32,000 students are forced to live within a two miles radius of campus. And I get that these apartments aren't built to really be comfortable, but to stand the test of time. But why, when a bathroom has an 8 foot ceiling, is the shower nozzle so low that it hits me in the lower back? Since I've lived in Provo, I have lived in 5 different apartment complexes, and each one has had this problem. Why? I don't get it.

My Mom started a business and the grand opening of her office space is today. There's going to be a ribbon cutting and everything!

Awesome.

This totally turns me on.

I Type Fast

103 words

Speed test

Go and take the test, I guarantee you're not faster than me.

Taxes

Only six days left until taxes are due. There's a lot of grumbling heard around this time of the year. People don't like to pay taxes, but I think it's important to remember that without our tax dollars, our political leaders wouldn't be able to afford upscale hookers.

Getting Dumped

There are only 15 more days left until new episodes of The Office start airing. It's an exciting time. Sort of.

I find that this show is somewhat tainted now. Sure, there was a strike. Sure, the writer's probably deserved some more money, but what about me? I'm the one who paid $1.99 to download every episode of seasons 1, 2, and 3 from iTunes. I even switched over to Amazon.com's crappy Unbox when NBC had a fallout with iTunes. I own The Office on DVD. I have the deleted scenes memorized, and how am I rewarded? With months of reruns and crappy reality TV.

I once dated a girl. We got along pretty well. I think we enjoyed each other's company (I know I enjoyed her's). It was a mutually beneficial relationship. Then, seemingly out of the blue, she dumped me. She may have dumped me for valid reasons, and there were no hard feelings involved, but still, I had been dumped. She wanted to stay friends, which was okay. A few weeks later though, she decided she wanted to get back together. We started dating again, but it was different this time. I had been dumped, and those feelings of rejection stuck around. You could say some part of me resented her for tossing around my fragile ego like it was nothing. We quickly broke up again (this time it was my choice), that time for good.

Do you see the parallel? I was good to The Office. I was a dedicated fan. And seemingly out of the blue, it left me. Now it wants to jump back into my life with the promise of 6 new episodes!? Everythings just going to be the same, right Office?! Wrong sucker, too little too late. I may watch the new episodes. I might laugh and find myself hoping Dwight and Angela get together again, but it will never, I repeat, never, be the same.

I hope your strike was worth throwing away the last three and a half years, Office.

I get all my news from The Onion

Sex Offender at Large

As on most Sundays, I rolled out of bed around 2pm, and went to work at 4. Work is a relative term. What I do isn't really work. Although I get paid, and there are certain things I need to do, my job isn't hard at all. Most days, I play guitar hero, xbox 360 or watch movies (all on a big ass, 56 inch TV) for the length of my shift.

What I do, if you don't know, is 'supervise' three mentally handicapped men in their home. They live together in a duplex and buy lots of really nice stuff with their Social Security money (hence the TV and all the other bitchin' stuff I monopolize while I'm there). These mentally handicapped men will be referred to as 'guys, or 'my guys' from now on to avoid directing unnecessary attention to mental health, or the lack thereof.

The guys' ages range from 21 to 45. Gretchen (names have been changed) is the oldest of the bunch at 45. He is the most recent addition to the house that I work at. He moved in about a year ago. I believe he is the only registered sex offender of the three and served some time for his crimes.

All the guys at the house smoke. They each have different rules for being outside alone. Gretchen can't be left outside alone for any period of time. While seemingly unfounded, this rule proved to be an important one in the last month as Mike has ran away several times. It started when one of the staff broke his leg. Mike took advantage of this weakness and would leave knowing this cripple couldn't follow him.

Mike has never run away under my supervision. Until tonight.

I'm not sure how it happened. But here are the facts.

Around 8:15pm, Gretchen asked for his medication, said he was going to bed and went upstairs. Around 11pm, a Provo police officer knocks on the door with Mike in tow. The cop told me he had been found wandering around a condo complex in South Provo. Gretchen told the officer that his girlfriend told him through E.S.P. that he should meet her at this complex immediately. Gretchen has told me on multiple occasions that this girl (with whom he hasn't actually spoken in 30 years) frequently speaks to him through this method.

Because he has an alarm that goes off each time he opens his bedroom door, it's easy to be aware of his location in the house. I'm not sure how he managed to leave without me knowing. I know he left while I was watching '2 Fast 2 Furious' with the other guys, so I couldn't have been too involved with that...

Anyway, now I have a meeting with my boss's boss tomorrow to discuss this. Awesome.

The Academy is Confused

I was really confused by the Academy choices last night. Could I have been more off on my choices?

Anyway, here's a review of 'The Lives of Others.'

The Lives of Others presents its audience with a compelling story that is far more relevant to our times than we’d like to admit. Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck has struck artistic gold with his Oscar contending, directorial and screenwriting debut. The skill of this filmmaking is terrifying in its own way as it forces us to think, to put ourselves in morally ambiguous situations and compels us to see the both the humanity and the inhumanity in each of us.

Donnersmarck has proven himself as a master story teller as he delves into the dark world of Socialism, East Berlin, and espionage. The story follows Stasi (German Secret Police) Captain Weisler (Ulrich Muhe) as he tries to determine the loyalties of playwright Georg Dreyman (Sebastian Koch) who has drawn attention to himself by being the only non-subversive playwright in Eastern Germany. Dreyman is involved with stage actress Christa-Maria Seiland (played sensually by Martina Gedeck) who, unbeknownst to Dreyman, is involved with culture minister Hempf. In his own plot line, Hempf is attempting to have Dreyman removed from the picture so that Seiland will become his own.

Donnersmarck uses this main storyline to weave a complex tale that certainly isn’t lacking in moral dilemmas. Donnersmarck poses some very interesting questions that can’t be answered simply. What is art really worth and what are we willing to sacrifice for its existence? Where exactly does government overstep its bounds in the name of protection of its citizen and in the name of the state? But most importantly, we see Donnersmarck’s belief that over great odds, humanity can triumph over even the evils of Socialism.

Despite these ever present, important themes, Lives doesn’t fail to deliver the goods on screen. Donnersmarck shows his skill at building palpable tension in one particular scene at Stasi headquarters. In an attempt to bring the equality Socialism to all levels of life, Weisler and another officer sit next to low level Stasi office workers. Without noticing the commanding officers, one of these young men starts to tell a joke about the then GDR leader, Erich Honecker. Upon realizing the step out of bounds, the young man backtracks quickly as the officers confirm this was a career ending move for him. The intensity at this moment could be cut with a knife. In other, lesser films, scenes like this can seem campy, overdramatic and unbelievable. Donnersmarck uses these chilling moments to shine as the audience is sucked into the overwhelming terror of such a dictatorship.

The true brilliance of the film comes in watching the complexity of the characters and the changes they go through. The no-frills screenplay allows us to see true human drama in a way that’s obviously not contrived. On top of these accomplishments, Donnersmarck manages this without drawn out action scenes, without gratuitous violence or sex. Don’t get me wrong, the gritty love story between Dreyman and Seiland is one of the main, and most compelling story lines that keeps the audience interested.

As we follow this masterpiece, the viewer becomes a part of both the Stasi and a part of the underground resistance. We understand the decisions made by both parties and this is what makes The Lives of Others so compelling. Watch this movie. Don’t be afraid of the subtitles, and you’ll be vastly rewarded.