Taking a Quick Break

I only watched one movie today, and it was so boring I didn't even finish it (sorry 'Life Aquatic' fans, it's just not that good of a film).

So I'm taking a break to show you this little video clip masterpiece. In response to the Radiohead contest of remixing one of their latest singles, 'Nude,' one of the contestants made this video. Be sure to watch the whole thing, it takes a while to really get going.


Big Ideas (don't get any) from James Houston on Vimeo.
According to the creator, he only 'grouped together a collection of old redundant hardware, and placed them in a situation where they're trying their best to do something that they're not exactly designed to do, and not quite getting there.'

Each part of the song is performed by the following hardware:

Sinclair ZX Spectrum - Guitars (rhythm & lead)
Epson LX-81 Dot Matrix Printer - Drums
HP Scanjet 3c - Bass Guitar
Hard Drive array - Act as a collection of bad speakers - Vocals & FX

I feel so uncreative and boring after watching something like this.

Tomorrow I'm going to Salt Lake to watch Sergei Bodrov's new film, 'Mongol.' Review to follow.

4am

Yesterday I went to Salt Lake to hang out with a friend. When I got downtown, my 'Low Fuel' light turned on. I drove a few more miles until I was afraid of running out of gas. That actually happened to me a few months ago. I literally ran out of gas. You know, like when you have to walk to a gas station with a container, buy a gallon of gas and walk back to your vehicle? I've never run out of gas, ever. But it happened (all except walking, because I called a friend to drive me the four blocks to the gas station). I blame it on the gas prices. Never have I feared 7-11 so much.

So I stop at the nearest gas station and end up paying more than 4 dollars a gallon.
This is bull shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, some countries have been paying 6 dollars a gallon for a while. So what? I wasn't buying gas in London, or in Paris, or where ever else the average per capita income is like, a billion dollars. Filling my tank at these prices costs over 100 dollars. But hey, at least Iraq is on the road to true democracy (is that why we went there? Or was it Saddam? Or was it the WMDs? I'm confused). Thanks Bush. I owe you one.



During our trip to Vegas two weekends ago, Ben was introduced to the game of roulette. That game is bitchin'. It really is a lot of fun. When we got back, Ben bought all the stuff to make our own table, and we spent about 4 hours making it. This is pretty much what my roommates and I do now. We each buy in using our bottomless savings of imaginary money. What if one of us runs out? No problem, we never run out of chips representing imaginary money. We use a random number generator, or an online roulette wheel to generate our numbers and bet on Lady Luck to win even more imaginary money. Sometimes I pretend my chips are worth 50 dollars each while everyone else's chips are only worth a dollar. It makes me feel like I'm at the high roller table. Does this make me a wanna-be elitist? Maybe. They're my chips though, so back off. After we've lost months worth of imaginary income to 'the house,' we start brushing up our blackjack skills (of which, we really have none). Is it actually possible to win at blackjack? I'm sure it's not. I could pay tuition for years with all the imaginary money I've lost at that game. But I guess that's why it's called gambling. In this picture are my friends, Mindy, Cen, and Bark (names have been changed to protect the liberal sinners).

BYU DISCLAIMER: NO MONEY, SERVICES, OR OTHER PRIZES WERE ACCEPTED OR PAID OUT IN THESE 'GAMBLING-LIKE' GAMES. WE RECOGNIZE THAT DOING SO IN ANY FORM WOULD BE IN DIRECT VIOLATION OF THE HONOR CODE, AND UTAH'S ANTI-GAMBLING LAWS.

Sorry, just wanted to make sure Big Brother knows we're conforming.

Finally, I move to Radiohead. In their continuing conquest to be the best and most innovative band around, Radiohead released http://www.radioheadremix.com/ a few months ago. The band released the separate stems to 'Nude,' a single off their latest album, 'In Rainbows,' and allowed listeners to remix the song and upload it to this site. Visitors voted on their favorite mixes and the polling closed on June 1st. All 2252 remixes are still up on the site. Go listen to them. They're great.

With Radiohead's permission, Amplive remixed seven of the 'In Rainbow' tracks. These tracks are available for download for free here.

Long Live Radiohead

Enjoy this tidbit from Radiohead's latest webcast.

Long time no blog...

It's been a while since my last blog. A long while.

Although a lot of things have happened that are worth writing, I just haven't gathered the motivation to do it.

For instance, I saw Bjork perform in Las Vegas. It was life changed. I found out there are other pople like me out there.

Christmas came and went. So did New Years.

I spent Christmas in Idaho with the family. The gifts were great and so was the company. My bro-in-law and I got to spend some quality time saving the world from the Umbrella Corporation in Resident Evil 4. I really feel like I used my free time during the holiday break to accomplish something great.

I received the Radiohead In Rainbow's discbox set from my mom for Christmas. It included two 12 inch vinyl albums. It's awesome and collectible, but really...what am I supposed to do with them? Buy a record player?

The discbox included a second cd aptly titled In Rainbows [Disc 2]. It's pure musical magic that hasn't stopped playing on my iPod since I got it.

Radiohead, Park City and Prostitution

Radiohead's new album came out today. God bless those people. I have been listening to it non stop since I got it. Just like all the other albums, this has a completely different style of it's own. Thom Yorke is a God.

Go to http://www.inrainbows.com/ and download it. Radiohead only asks that you pay what you think it's worth (including the option of downloading it for free). Please pay for it though. It's definitely worth it.

My sister and I went to Park City on Thursday. It was bitchin'. I love that place. We walked around and mocked all the tourists (which seems ironic because I think technically we are tourists). We chose to eat lunch at what seemed like a charming brewery. The overwhelming smell of yeast wasn't so charming, nor was the lack of service, but the food was decent, and the atmosphere beats Applebee's any day.

Then we went to the outlet malls. Partly because of the Banana Republic and Gap stores, but mostly because there's a store there that lets you play with puppies for free! Unfortunately, there weren't any available puppies that day, but we did get to look at some dogs that haven't received their shots yet and therefore were unfit for hands on public interaction. I love dogs.

My fam and I went to this swap meet thing this weekend. It was about as horrible as the name implies. We were walking along the booths that offered lucky raccoon feet (I'm not kidding) and old Osmond family vinyls when we came to a sword/knife/geek display. I'm sure you can imagine it. Something put on by avid Magic players and World of Warcraft gurus. We stopped to admire a cane that had a tiny little snake (may have been real, maybe not) encased in an amber like substance that made the handle of the cane.

Out of nowhere, this...boy covered in acne (not that I'm making fun, but is important to judge his age) popped out from behind several torture devices and said, "I've got a question for you," looking at me. He asked me how old I was. I was confused by the question and couldn't remember exactly how old I am having had a birthday recently. "22," I said, "No, wait, 23," I'm pretty sure this was the reason for his smirk. He replied, "These are hidden sword canes and you must be over 18 to look at them." He insisted on seeing my ID.

I'm glad I had my attorney with me (my bro-in-law). He quickly advised me to not answer any questions and told the pubescent boy that we'll just stop looking at them. We walked away and laughed about it the rest of the day.

Today I was thinking. I was thinking about how I would like to go see a play at the Rose Wagner theater downtown in Salt Lake or to go see the Utah symphony at Abravanal Hall. Of course I would never be able to get one of my guy friends to attend such an event and I definitely wouldn't want to go alone. The other option would be family or a date. The family near by is my sis and bro-in-law who probably wouldn't be against such a thing, but they're super busy attorneys and work late, this just wouldn't work. The last option would be a date.

I'm not opposed to this option. But tickets to these things are expensive, even with a student discount. It seemed to me that paying for a date would be at least an extra 60 or 70 bucks. Then it hit me, taking a date is pretty much like hiring an escort. You don't want to be alone so you hire social company. The only difference (and sometimes this doesn't even apply) is that there is no obligatory sex, and if you do end up having sex, you don't break any laws or feel bad about it. Dating is pretty much prostitution with no sex. What a lame loop hole.

Admittedly, a relationship with one of these escort girls might go all 'Pretty Woman' and feelings might develop. At which point, dates might become 'dutch' or at least financial responsibilities become shared. But any way you look at it, she started out as a hooker.

9600mg of Ibuprofen and Radiohead

There was an actual interesting event in my life today. It's going to take a little bit of explaining so strap in and enjoy the ride, it will be worth it.

I work for a company named Chrysalis. This is a privately run organization for the mentally handicapped. In order to be in the program, you must have an IQ less than 70, or be court ordered into it. Chrysalis sets three or four mentally challenged individuals up with an apartment. They live a mostly normal life, going to work and just plain living. I work as a staff at one of these 'houses.' House 3 to be exact.

I've worked at the same house for one year. Three guys live there, Dwayne, Steve and Mike. Mike just entered the program about 6 months ago shortly after getting out of jail. He's 45 and is handicapped from a serious car accident. He is a pretty fun guy but has some serious mood swings. Steve is about 35, was born handicapped and is the most pleasant guy to work with ever. He's so calm. He loves to make dinner for his roommates and has never created any problems with roommates or staff. Dwayne is 21 and is the highest functioning of the crew. Because he's so smart, he manipulates, steals and lies. He's pleasant about half the time and impossible the other half.

Dwayne has a history of stealing credit and debit cards. Earlier this year, he had strict money guidelines that said he was never allowed to hold his own money, all purchases must be made under staff supervision. Even then, he managed to get around the rules. He threw constant fits to his guardian about his lack of freedom concerning money and finally, Chrysalis gave in and allowed him the privilege of handling his own money. Since this point, he has stolen literally thousands of dollars and we the staff are powerless to do anything. His most recent crime involved stealing his boss's credit card. Over the last week, he's spent about $800.

He was finally confronted with all the evidence against him today. The detective assigned to him told him that because of his criminal history, they were pushing for two counts of felony fraud. This terrified Dwayne. He finally admitted to me and my manager that yes, he had stolen the card and used it to purchase several things. Of course, he tried to push the blame off to another, but he actually confessed. Because of this, staff was told that under no circumstances was Dwayne allowed to go to any stores or have any friends over.

Being so terrified, Dwayne needed his support group so he called his girlfriend Lindsay (a former Chrysalis resident who had 'graduated' the program and now lives on her own). She had already been questioned about the credit card and was furious with Dwayne that he had gotten her into trouble as well. Dwayne, being rejected from every side, became hysterical. I've never seen him so upset. He was bawling on the floor of the kitchen while talking to Lindsay. He was literally hysterical and threatened over and over that he was going to kill himself.

Dwayne's behavior plan included strict suicide watch. He's not allowed to have any sharps in the house at all, meaning knifes, scissors, etc. Some how, he managed in the last few months to acquire a large pocket knife, and all though staff has known about it, they haven't managed to locate and confiscate it. After screaming at his girlfriend, he ran upstairs to his room and locked his door. I tried to talk him down as much as a could. He finally came out of his room to call Lindsay again.

At this point, he told me he had taken 12 pills of something he had found in his room. I ran to his room to find out what he took. It turns out, they were 800mg pills of prescription Ibuprofen. I called my manager and he told me to follow exactly the plan outlined for this situation in his record book. The book told me to call poison control, which I did. The man from PC told me that although the dose wasn't lethal and wouldn't even seriously make him ill, they are required by law to send an ambulance due to the suicide threats.

The man from poison control transferred me to 911 dispatch. They asked for my address and a myriad of other details. I gave them the address as 329 N. 800 E. I stayed on the phone with dispatch and she told me the officers were pulling up to the house. I didn't see anything... Then I realized that the actual address is 329 N. 800 W. Oops.

Soon enough, I could hear the sirens coming. Dwayne was really stressed he was going to jail. He was crying so hard and just grabbed on to me anyway he could. Finally, the fire engine (what?), two patrol cars and an ambulance pulled up. Dwayne did not want to be separated from me at all. I spoke with all the appropriate officers, gave them my information and then followed the ambulance to the hospital.

There, I sat with Dwayne in his room. I had to give the doctor a detailed account of his previous suicide attempts which was unbelievably awkward (the things he did were unbelievably horrible). I had planned on hanging out with my sister tonight so I asked if another staff could come and stay with him for two hours while I went to dinner. I was replaced and went to dinner. I was assigned to spend the night with Dwayne in the hospital if the social worker assigned to the case felt that he was still a danger too himself. I was heading back to the hospital at 11pm when I got a call saying that Dwayne had been released and I didn't need to go. I went to the house, talked to Dwayne and came home.


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Now, on a completely separate, completely not serious note, let's talk about Radiohead.

Radiohead has finally announced the release of their 8th album. It's called 'In Rainbows.' Radiohead, being as progressive as they are, they are trying a completely new business model. It's called, 'pay as much as you want.' Radiohead head is releasing two new products. The first is a digital download, available from inrainbows.com in ten days. This is downloadable at any price. Radiohead is asking fans to pay what they feel they should. This includes the option of downloading it for free!

The second product is a 40 British Pounds ($82) box set. It includes the digital download on CD, an extra disc that includes more new music, and two 2x12 vinyls. Of course I'll buy both. I just love Radiohead so much it hurts.